alicevangeline

 other thoughts:

1. work laptop is the proper amount of clickiness.
2. i've decided that the two people who call me a LOT and leave me messages that they're mad I"m not getting back to them, and make me feel about this big,  are not justifiably mad that I'm not getting back to them.  (Why am I not? Because I'm moving as fast as I can and there are things I don't get to. I didn't get to you. Your issue is also not that urgent, compared to some other things.  And I literally haven't had the time to call and tell them that).    So. Yeah. I'm going to take some of my power back on this. ----- Interrupted here, I called him back and it was fine. Go me.

3. Dan is going to Maine with Running Friends in oct.  I booked a VRBO because the kids & I have a long weekend at the same time, and sure, might as well go to maine at the same time. But friend, VRBO 's home page which is advertising "friday oct 9" is talking about NEXT YEAR.  So it turns out I booked a seaside home for a weekend in oct 2027.

After a day of thinking about that, I'm going to keep it for next year, and book a different place for this year. 

4. After 3 months in our new house it does indeed feel like home. It is imperfect, but cozy and pretty and other houses seem like the memories they are.  I know it's just a house, a material thing, not that big a deal in some ways, but in other ways it is a big deal.

Some things I love about new hometown:
- Super active Indivisible group, and the town council or PD won't roll out the red carpet for ICE.  
- Free curbside compost. (We don't do that as much as we should. It's in locked bins so it doesn't stink and is raccoon free, but most people keep a freezer bag of food scraps and then toss it in the bin on trash day).
- The Arts. Yoga. Thai food.

Some things that I don't love as much:
- there is a substance abuse problem and dealers are being cracked down on no pun intended
- there are people without places to live, so that's a bummer, they are visible which is good and bad i guess. You don't want to see the problem and have to decide if you're going to give that guy at the red light a dollar, but it's worse if a problem exists and you don't see it. And I suspect, if you don't have a home, there are more supports in our area than in surrounding areas.  Anyway the drugs & housing issues are probably interrelated and influenced by other factors.  So.

That's it for now!

 So, in trying to start feeling a little more joy, I'm trying to get into cosplay with kiddo.  (Halloween, but also so we're prepared to go to a con sometime.)

Hers:
Mizuki Akiyama, project sekai. I'm sewing some pink pants. I'm realizing that, since the back & front pattern are similar but not identical, AND the fabric is same on both sides, what I should have done is leave a cut-offable tab with writing on all 4 pieces so I could tell them apart later.  

Ultimately, I think I trimmed too much fabric off the butt, because I put a center-back-seam to a center-front-seam, because I mixed up the pieces and figured that the reason they didn't match was bad pattern-cutting (since I used the 'print it on 16 sheets of paper and trim and tape together method).    I said, "oh look, an extra inch or so of curve here.  how'd I do that?"  And trimmed half of that on each side.   Now I realize WHY the extra was there -- that part was for the center-back.   And tbh, I was cutting very carefully, so I should have figured something was up.
Oh well. they will still be pants. (side seams arent done, waistband is not done, bc front overlay, then hems).  I don't have enough straight pins (where I can find them) so I was using binder clips, which work great.  And therefore was able to put these things on in pant form.
 
I am reminded, however, to prototype in future so I can figure out what the instructions mean before doing it in the Real Fabric.  

Once the pants are complete, if they are acceptable, I am going to make a girdle-type-thing with the scraps.  
Also we are on the lookout for the right fabric/s for the peekaboo pant leg. 

And we want to get a white long-sleeve blouse and add fancy shiz to it (collar, cuffs, buttons, trim).

My costume updates:

- thinking about what nerd-dom character I admire/want to be/am kind of like:
- Sylvia Tilly from Star Trek Discovery.   (I've decided to pretend to be a superfan of Trek, as like, something to do).   She has curly red hair except when she's being Captain Killy and then it's flatironed.  Anyway I found a wig for $12 on poshmark, so grabbed it.  I am on the fence about buying a canon uniform. If i try to make one, it'll likely cost as much as a pre-made costume, but I have more sizing options.  Haven't found an Actual Pattern yet, nor am I sure that's what I want to do. So that's on hold. 

-thinking about what character i already-kind-of-look-like:
- Trent Crimm, Independent (i have the hair, sort of; and the glasses).   So i ordered his Dolly Parton tee and his coffee mug. I'll style my hair different, print out a badge, and that's all there is to it. 

In all 3 cases, it'll be 'if you know, you know.'

 Sloooowwww improvements.

I get so antsy this time of year, I guess like everyone.  I'm glad I applied for a music teaching job - even though I didn't get it, and sometimes worry that i embarassed myself in the interview.  I'm still glad I tried.

  Current work continues to be 'really great team,' underpaid, too much to do.  I am trying to be zen about it and just learn to accept 'can't do it all.' I think that's what I'm meant to be learning.  I try to ask myself 'if I weren't so adhd would I do a better job keeping up?' and the answer is, not significantly.

I felt like an A-hole yesterday because I couldn't find a record I needed.  When I searched for it, though I found a couple hundred records from that time period that I did process properly.  And I probably screwed up that other one, but it's less painful in context.

Let me try out this metaphor because I'm trying to remind myself that "I'm the one they got:"  (I'm underselling myself, but it's a bar that I can clear!)

Imagine you need a horse, but you live in the fkn desert, and there just aren't a lot of horses. The ones that are there are owned by someone else, or too young, or just not great for the team.  But you find a curious zebra, and it's a quick learner, and pretty much does what you need it to do, but it ain't a horse.   

I'm the zebra. (#not-so-much-about-neurodivergence-as-much-as-winding-career-paths-which-may-be-linked-to-neurodivergence)
--
KidB, the young high schooler, had a mood tank on Monday but was back up yesterday and today.  They're also starting mid-day adhd med, which might be really helpful.

They are also:
a) in Advanced English and doing fine. First honors class!
b) saying Latin is too easy (i mean, this kid has been learning japanese, sooo)

Exciting.