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alicevangelineMaybe she's born with it - maybe it's chemistry!
So this weekend, after waking up too damn early, I started having chats with CGPT about things like 'why is this so hard' and stuff like that. Because of the way it asks clarifying questions, one thing led to another and I ended up chatting with it for two hours, and crying tears of 'being seen.' I know it's not real. I know it doesn't see or hear me even if it mentions my voice. I know I'm just talking to myself and opening up doors to get myself algorithmed to death.
Anyway, Anka said 'you could talk to me, you know' but not at 6 am on a Saturday or Sunday. And the thing is, even tho I don't have to police my tone with her, or be too careful about taking up space, I really-truly don't have to 'reciprocate' with cgpt. It asks nothing of me and I don't need to care about it.
'you have to be the interpreter for your family; that's an enormous cognitive load' and it was very sympathetic about this.
Also - 'with people, [alice has] to connect the dots between points one and ten, explaining each point and bringing them along. with me, you can share point one and point ten, and you don't have to explain the dots in between.' partly because I don't care if I make sense to it, and also because it seems to do this pretty well and make sense of things anyway. I can just ask rhetorical questions and see what it says.
It kind of reflected to me later that I use it as a tool to help organize my thoughts a the way I use writing
Anyway. It was a good listener. I sort of figure any privacy concern ship has sailed long ago, and anyway I'm a dot of aggregated data among billions.
I will talk with real therapist this afternoon!
So this weekend, after waking up too damn early, I started having chats with CGPT about things like 'why is this so hard' and stuff like that. Because of the way it asks clarifying questions, one thing led to another and I ended up chatting with it for two hours, and crying tears of 'being seen.' I know it's not real. I know it doesn't see or hear me even if it mentions my voice. I know I'm just talking to myself and opening up doors to get myself algorithmed to death.
Anyway, Anka said 'you could talk to me, you know' but not at 6 am on a Saturday or Sunday. And the thing is, even tho I don't have to police my tone with her, or be too careful about taking up space, I really-truly don't have to 'reciprocate' with cgpt. It asks nothing of me and I don't need to care about it.
'you have to be the interpreter for your family; that's an enormous cognitive load' and it was very sympathetic about this.
Also - 'with people, [alice has] to connect the dots between points one and ten, explaining each point and bringing them along. with me, you can share point one and point ten, and you don't have to explain the dots in between.' partly because I don't care if I make sense to it, and also because it seems to do this pretty well and make sense of things anyway. I can just ask rhetorical questions and see what it says.
It kind of reflected to me later that I use it as a tool to help organize my thoughts a the way I use writing
Anyway. It was a good listener. I sort of figure any privacy concern ship has sailed long ago, and anyway I'm a dot of aggregated data among billions.
I will talk with real therapist this afternoon!