almost a new record for me

[alicevangeline]

 
More than a week without a post from me? Incroyable! (For some reason it's more fun to shout that when I mean unbelievable)

Liz keeps telling me she thinks I'm a bit of a demi-girl (like, 'female, but not very.').  I try to tell her I don't think it's a gender identity thing; it's more of a 'i don't want to be girly these days because it makes me feel vulnerable and i feel too serious to be Girly/Pretty/Princess.'

But i make an exception for my environment because I want all the iridescent and/or prismatic suncatchers.  

Have had some depression and/or burnout that we won't talk about!

Have been reading Terry Pratchett (Making Money) and Scythe, a young adult book.  Scythe is ok. Premise is interesting, story/pacing are ok, but the language & writing style are too choppy and simple for my taste. I think the phrase is 'high readability?'  

Have also been playing Persona 5 -- it was on sale for $18 in the e-shop, and it's worth that much definitely.   It's got SO MUCH going on.  different art styles, coffee facts, history trivia, an in-game social media site, battle system & evolutions, T&A statues in the perv palace.  Like, I'm interested and kind of enjoying it but so much of it is visual novel that you click thru.  BUT it lets you ff through that if you want.  (Remember how I like that book Tomorrow & Tomorrow & Tomorrow, which is about video game designers?  One of the fictional games they create, "both sides," didn't have a direct translation in my head, but Reddit said it was most like Persona, so I wanted to try persona to see what it was like....so I could understand the book better or something.).  I don't love it, but it's certainly $18 worth of entertainment or more.

Other things:
- need to figure out the deal with photo camp - is ty going to one week? or zero? and then finish paying and also figure out transport.
- have been making progress with 'updating address' and making all the appointments - including liz to derm and me for pap. still working on new, female psychiatrist for liz and primary care for ty.
- Have set an appt for my car registration/plates, and ty's ID, and got my new license.
-  Signed life away for a second year of Expensive College Loan (and also put in Ty's name).  I feel that this is the last year we'll do there because of cost, but considering the growth he had in year one, I think a second year is going to be worth it if we can swing it.
- I didn't renew my income-driven-payment student loan numbers so it reverted --- back to cheaper?  --- but because it was cheaper, that was going to add months to my PSLF or something.  

- been discussing garden planning w dan, mural on retaining wall w liz, and thinking about how to clean up what's already present. 
- still working to feng-shui the place - some things aren't quite right.

Work:
- it's gonna be a lousy year probably, because teachers are working without a contract (which means they get paid same as last year and under last year's rules), and they are going to negotiate for a new one, and they want more --- which the district would be happy to provide if the taxpayers would fund it.  After all, it was the taxpayers who voted down the agreement and for good reason. I keep wanting the union to get more involved with state advocacy since the state funding is the reason local tax is legit too high.

- i also suspect that means they'll be on the lookout for any mistakes i might make. So I'll hold myself to a high standard and probably get freaked out.

- we're also really truly going to implement a non-paper benefits & HR system, and that's going to take a ton of time, but be worth it in the end.  Yes, I said 'non-paper.'  Hey, at least paper doesn't get hacked - although I do remember my mom getting identity-thefted in the 2000s from some mail that got stolen-- so paper isn't entirely safe either.  At least our paperwork travels with a courier and his dog.

- we're changing some other stuff that we THINK will be better, but people hate change. 

-- There's also some secret stuff going on with 'restructuring' and a principal that has been out (and people aren't saying why, which means it's medical or administrative).  These things make me nervous.  Idk. I have some kinda trauma about the Big People fighting/disagreeing or something.  There's also a growing frustration between admin & The Board, to the point where admin are starting to shrug and give up. 

Scene:

• Post this Important Position!
• ok, what is the description and qualifications?
• didn't you see the announcement?
• ...you want me to extract it from this paragraph? is there anything more, like a salary?
• yes, and no.  The Board doesn't have any further info and it's their thing, but post it everywhere

One more topic:
- I'm quitting my stipend role as the homeless liaison because I bet someone has more time and energy to do it well. But i'll train with what i know.
- Same with food program.
- My heart is telling me 'you are trying to do things for other people but you need to be one of those people for right now.'   Since the depression is sort of dangerous, I accept simplifying my brain a bit.

--- HOWEVER.  The Side Project?  Someone important keeps throwing grant opps my way because they believe in the project.

I think my plan is this:  quit the other stuff, do the side project as well as I can, take care of self & family, and get my groove back when possible.