boston and thoughts

[alicevangeline]

We went to boston for 3 nights! And now I can say "I went to harvard" (technically I went to the harvard museum of natural history.).  We took an uber and 2 of us took a subway to get pastry in the north end. (We stayed on border of Cambridge/Somerville).

We met dan's friends for lunch and got shumei and miso and deliciousness.

So highlights of the trip:
- house was totally clean, and even though it was post-blizzard the steps were NOT SLIPPERY.
- Food <3. Sfogliatelle,  lobstertail, boston creme donut from the italian pastry shop (plus a box of cookies for later).  then later cappuccino, chai, croissant, macarons and parisian baguette (with cornichon, ham & cheese). Pizza from harvard HOP and raising cane's from a golden downtown locale.
- Naps.
- City - subway and Walk-up coffee while watching the vendors unloading on a busy morning.  
- I sewed a thing and we watched The Burbs.
- Blue skies, seagulls, a touch of ocean.
- museum was cool, glass flowers were nice (not THAT exciting but they were in a good museum) - and meg enjoyed


Lowlights:
- Megan mood swings and not being willing to Do Stuff mostly, but there was one thing we tried to do and failed
- no parking to go to the Converse Flagship :( it was next to an arena where there would be hockey and traffic stressed her out
- Noisy radiators
- dan headache return

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We toured 3 houses on Sunday including the return of the One With The Big Barn.   My glasses were a little less rosy this time around, but I still really like it. It's kind of large, needs some repairs (but not major systems), is on a main rd in a small town.  My biggest hesitation here is if I get a job I applied for and interviewed well for, it'd be an hour 20 min commute twice a week or more.  (I found a grant for historic preservation of barns anyway, and it's in GOOD SHAPE but the second outbuilding is not so pristine.).  It is weird to think about the 1800s house I grew up in and how we did jack with the barn other than paint it and maybe reroof it.  I have to reconcile my upbringing's carefree mindset with dan's 'protect, preserve nice things' mindset.   (Also we found a critter skeleton in a trap under the barn, and I'm like 'what does it MEAN')


The second one, Dan nicknamed 'the Bad Bones House' because ...normally beat up places have 'good bones.' This one didn't.  But it was 15 scenic acres so even though it needed a new everything, we're only in 'probably not' territory rather than 'definitely not.'  

Third one, totally charming, great yard, but on a major highway and probably too small.

Right now, my thoughts are: can our house still be an option?  Well, maybe not.  I like it, but I am not prepared to deal with NH public school destruction and -- I saw about 10 job listings for TPUSA 'election outreach' jobs, paying well, in rural NH.  I can't fight that. I mean, I can try, but I don't see my side winning that nonsense.

https://newhampshirebulletin.com/2026/02/18/why-pay-for-new-hampshire-schools-when-you-could-just-methodically-destroy-them/
There are still more bills being floated to lessen the state's responsibility for funding public education.  And they may not succeed, but I don't like the odds, and even recovering from the nonsense we're in right now would take years if we were to turn around today.

One of our towns has a petition article saying 'we the people of xxx want the state to pay its fair share of education.' It is not binding, but heaven help us if that didn't pass...




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So all of that last bit is part of the facet of 'do we need, or want, to leave' (if so, which). 

Kind of tried to spend last week asking myself what I actually want (house, job, etc). I'm not used to coming at it from that direction, i'm more used to 'here are your options, pick one that will work' and ultimately I think it's going to be somewhere in between.  

Like, Design with the End in Mind and work backwards is one way of planning.  a couple downsides with this approach: there might be Outcomes that you never considered, and outcomes you plan for might get blocked, so you have to make sure your 'in the meanwhile' is okay.

On the other hand, choosing from available pathways is another planning technique for life stuff (usually called reactionary, but also the 'next right thing' approach.).   The museum job was more goal-based for me, but what they were offering changed, and I settled for that.

Anyway, this coincides too with my access to thousands of family pictures, including me as a little kid.  I can see some really idyllic pictures at my old house from before all the bullshit, and before my parents stopped keeping up with the house.  Our garden and greenhouse were FIRE (good) and there's a cute couple pix of me as a tiny tot with a football jersey and a kitten in our garden.

I was asking Dan the sorts of things he liked best about each of his houses (including ours), and I tell ya, when I look at the Alice's Old House pix I see the greenhouse and the garden, and the shiny wood inside, and an occasional fire-in-the-fireplace, and a place to sit outside and maybe have a meal.

Meg was supposed to come with us for at least one of the houses and didn't (And honestly i get it, that seems like a lot of pressure for a kiddo who is sensitive to it), BUT she was cheerful and gave me do's and don'ts.  Do's: nooks/crannies, skylights, a place to Art near the living room or kitchen. Don'ts: noisy or crowded. (and i would venture to add, uneven floors or weird noises are probably a no-go).

I am trying to float on 'no decisions just information' for now.

One information I am learning is that small cities are nice, and I don't want to commute an hour  each way to pediatric psychologist every 2 weeks. It gets old.  That tells me I don't want to commute that much in general.  I think after our Pleasant Visit to the city that it's worth considering less space and quiet for the sake of convenience, and still affordability, and a better school option.