limited capacity
Jan. 27th, 2026 08:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alicevangelineWe had about a foot and a half of snow this weekend and yesterday; snow day yesterday & 2 hr delay today.
So it's 11 and I'm settled in at my desk - I started Doing Work Stuff at 7:30 am, so that's not bad, just had to take a break to take my kid to school, because the bus won't take her to ner new school since it's not our town.
My stomach is all weird; I figured it was due to anxiety but am realizing I was trying to Engage My Core on the treadmill yesterday so it could be that as well. I took an Anti-Panic medicine too.
With Covid, we were allowed to say 'in these trying times" and even though there are people who didn't believe in masks or germ theory, it was a small minority, and we all accepted that life wasn't normal, and to bring what you got.
With this crisis, we can't exactly talk about it it in professional settings lest we come off as partisan, or leaving our lane, etc. IDK, your experience might be different - all my coworkers are bothered and upset and grieving, (and have been for a year), but nothing 'organizationally' is acknowledged, because we can't.
My project partners are hosting an advocacy thing and they have to be so careful how they word it.
Threads continues to be fun.
My brain is struggling with 'side project' vs 'job' vs 'purpose' vs 'mission' vs 'burnout,' all that stuff is swimming around and I'm NOT going to chart it out now, don't fret. I am starting to realize 'what I want' and 'what I feel obligated to do' might not be the same thing.
I wiill say I want to make an interactive skills tree for myself because it seems a better way to convey that I can do different things. AND, tbh, I was home yesterday dealing with work bullshit and had this moment of being Very Over It. I disengage when I feel like the work is impossible - but a supervisor who is like 'what you're doing is enough' can keep me around longer. But once I start feeling 'set up to fail' -- even if the invidivuals aren't doing it but the system is - then I get resentful and grumpy.
I'm upset about Renee and Alex in MN, but also kind of angry that it takes white ppl getting killed for the reaction to become more widespread. I'm all kinds of angry about all kinds of things, like Amendment Hypocrisy, and 'they're not even trying anymore,' and actual tear gas, and 'what do you think happens in the detention centers,' and 'this is what we were trying to warn you about a fucking year ago' and 'this is why liberals were crying, do you get it now?' and wondering if I will ever forgive maga people for enabling this shit. but also, Sunn Mcheaux was like, "what do you mean, at a time like this," because it's been like this for black & brown people off an on for a while, so I'm sad and angry about that.
I did see an Irish comedian say 'we pick our own potatoes' which I hope is at least generally true. I hope my ancestors, who were mostly bards and clerics, did their own thing, and didn't try to conquer people.
So it's 11 and I'm settled in at my desk - I started Doing Work Stuff at 7:30 am, so that's not bad, just had to take a break to take my kid to school, because the bus won't take her to ner new school since it's not our town.
My stomach is all weird; I figured it was due to anxiety but am realizing I was trying to Engage My Core on the treadmill yesterday so it could be that as well. I took an Anti-Panic medicine too.
With Covid, we were allowed to say 'in these trying times" and even though there are people who didn't believe in masks or germ theory, it was a small minority, and we all accepted that life wasn't normal, and to bring what you got.
With this crisis, we can't exactly talk about it it in professional settings lest we come off as partisan, or leaving our lane, etc. IDK, your experience might be different - all my coworkers are bothered and upset and grieving, (and have been for a year), but nothing 'organizationally' is acknowledged, because we can't.
My project partners are hosting an advocacy thing and they have to be so careful how they word it.
Threads continues to be fun.
My brain is struggling with 'side project' vs 'job' vs 'purpose' vs 'mission' vs 'burnout,' all that stuff is swimming around and I'm NOT going to chart it out now, don't fret. I am starting to realize 'what I want' and 'what I feel obligated to do' might not be the same thing.
I wiill say I want to make an interactive skills tree for myself because it seems a better way to convey that I can do different things. AND, tbh, I was home yesterday dealing with work bullshit and had this moment of being Very Over It. I disengage when I feel like the work is impossible - but a supervisor who is like 'what you're doing is enough' can keep me around longer. But once I start feeling 'set up to fail' -- even if the invidivuals aren't doing it but the system is - then I get resentful and grumpy.
I'm upset about Renee and Alex in MN, but also kind of angry that it takes white ppl getting killed for the reaction to become more widespread. I'm all kinds of angry about all kinds of things, like Amendment Hypocrisy, and 'they're not even trying anymore,' and actual tear gas, and 'what do you think happens in the detention centers,' and 'this is what we were trying to warn you about a fucking year ago' and 'this is why liberals were crying, do you get it now?' and wondering if I will ever forgive maga people for enabling this shit. but also, Sunn Mcheaux was like, "what do you mean, at a time like this," because it's been like this for black & brown people off an on for a while, so I'm sad and angry about that.
I did see an Irish comedian say 'we pick our own potatoes' which I hope is at least generally true. I hope my ancestors, who were mostly bards and clerics, did their own thing, and didn't try to conquer people.