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Jul. 23rd, 2024 08:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alicevangeline I had a big sad yesterday and there are a few things about it that are real, and a few things about it that are influenced by hormones and immune system that made it sadder.
Here's the realness:
our next-door neighbors are moving and they have been our good friends and kids meg played with nearly evry day for a while. they grew apart but are still our friends. they invited us over for thanksgiving the year we arrived.
coincidentally, our across the street neighbors are moving. She was the high school nurse and just retired and they're the best.
So. losing our friends who are our neighbors.
My first summer without my mom. (Not to mention she has been a part of our lives up here since even before she moved in).
My job feels totally unmoored right now. (it literally is, they moved me to the Supe's office last year and now there's no Supe - the acting one is also the middle school principal and she has wayyyy more fish to fry than the work I was doing)
My kids are at loose ends because it's summer. And IDK what I'm doing with them.
We made the choice to move here, away from everyone, to try something new, and I have made friends, but I had a whole community back in Ohio. Like, if Dan and I get sick at the same time, what will we do? Who could we call to keep an eye on the kids? (I have some options but fewer than back home). If Dan got hurt, how would we manage?
Other things - I reached out to a cousin in Philly about Thanksgiving (even though Dan/Ty/meg hate crowds, so a big family party is not For Them). I reached out to a lake house in Maine where we stayed with my parents 10 years ago, about either labor day or next summer. I am looking into staying in Providence RI again this year at xmas because that was fun last year. So, I guess I'm trying to establish new traditions.
Also - not currently into any shows. It's nice to have a routine where you look forward to being together and watching something epic with your people. We finished the Good Place again.
So, meanwhile, while we test new things out, I've been watching Maine Cabin Masters. I like it because it's a home rehab show where it's not usually ridiculously entitled people with too much money. The drama is "we thought this would be a huge problem! but it turned out fine" and "we got on each other's nerves." (Does this have to do with trying to re-book our Maine vacation from a few years ago? yes. yes it does.)
--
I feel better today. Those are still concerns, but I dragged my masked-self to my office and closed the door and am trying to ground myself again (in a good way).
Here's the realness:
our next-door neighbors are moving and they have been our good friends and kids meg played with nearly evry day for a while. they grew apart but are still our friends. they invited us over for thanksgiving the year we arrived.
coincidentally, our across the street neighbors are moving. She was the high school nurse and just retired and they're the best.
So. losing our friends who are our neighbors.
My first summer without my mom. (Not to mention she has been a part of our lives up here since even before she moved in).
My job feels totally unmoored right now. (it literally is, they moved me to the Supe's office last year and now there's no Supe - the acting one is also the middle school principal and she has wayyyy more fish to fry than the work I was doing)
My kids are at loose ends because it's summer. And IDK what I'm doing with them.
We made the choice to move here, away from everyone, to try something new, and I have made friends, but I had a whole community back in Ohio. Like, if Dan and I get sick at the same time, what will we do? Who could we call to keep an eye on the kids? (I have some options but fewer than back home). If Dan got hurt, how would we manage?
Other things - I reached out to a cousin in Philly about Thanksgiving (even though Dan/Ty/meg hate crowds, so a big family party is not For Them). I reached out to a lake house in Maine where we stayed with my parents 10 years ago, about either labor day or next summer. I am looking into staying in Providence RI again this year at xmas because that was fun last year. So, I guess I'm trying to establish new traditions.
Also - not currently into any shows. It's nice to have a routine where you look forward to being together and watching something epic with your people. We finished the Good Place again.
So, meanwhile, while we test new things out, I've been watching Maine Cabin Masters. I like it because it's a home rehab show where it's not usually ridiculously entitled people with too much money. The drama is "we thought this would be a huge problem! but it turned out fine" and "we got on each other's nerves." (Does this have to do with trying to re-book our Maine vacation from a few years ago? yes. yes it does.)
--
I feel better today. Those are still concerns, but I dragged my masked-self to my office and closed the door and am trying to ground myself again (in a good way).