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butterfly time again maybe
Apr. 19th, 2024 09:30 amI'm seeing the end of a tunnel, or possibly, the transparency of the chrysalis? IDK, it's always weird with mind-metaphors.
Ok, here's what.
- I still felt pretty lousy and discouraged yesterday. I admit to pms and broken tooth being additional factors.
- i talked about it with my boss the Supe actually and ultimately felt calmer.
- a couple other things came up through the day - annoying, positive, anxiety-inducing, etc.
In short, it was an Intense day, but both ups and downs.
--
My boss gave a presentation to rotary last night and I again saw my department as key for the district - yeah, department of ONE, as we know.
Also complimented me, specifically, in front of my rotary people several times.
I was thinking about the innate strategy of that. I think, he wouldn't say it if he didn't mean it, but also that me being frustrated and tearful (GAH) is not what The District needs. So we need Alice to be happy. And part of what was making me frustrated/tearful is Doing Too Much, people asking for projects then not supporting them, and that I don't know the edges of the job. And some of the presentation was about Strategic Resource Allocation; and our biggest and best resource is Our People, and that includes me.
After yesterday, some of this clicked around 1 am when the nightsweats woke me up.
I'm getting to my butterfly moment, but there's a bit more first :)
I was thinking too, why specifically call me out and put my name and job title on things? Because we need the community - including my coworkers - to know that THIS IS IMPORTANT. To give me the cred that might be necessary to do the work that needs doing.
So.
Butterfly moment.
A couple of the things he said during our meeting have a common thread, which is USE OUR RESOURCES. And what has finally clicked is that I have the power to ask for essentially whatever I need. I should not be in a vacuum, and I will make mistakes, sure, but I do need to be more of a spider spinning a web than an ant doing the fetch n carry.
SO MANY CRITTER METAPHORS TODAY
But yeah. Too much to do? "make other people do it." And by this point I'm enough of a Big Shot to do that. Respect and power are weird. Even if I want to play it cool and not accept the attention, what the DISTRICT needs is for me to use these tools as part of the job. AND the job didn't really have those tools last year.
So anyway. I'm going to try to move from a scurrying ant, to a web-spinning Orbweaver. (that's the new metamorophosis again, folks, i don't know what to tell you)
Oh, ps, the 'finding the edges of the job,' that's for me to decide really, but I am getting so close to comprehending them. I am able to say 'i'm not doing that again,' or 'i need to delegate that in future,' or here is the strategic planf for my job/department.
Ok, here's what.
- I still felt pretty lousy and discouraged yesterday. I admit to pms and broken tooth being additional factors.
- i talked about it with my boss the Supe actually and ultimately felt calmer.
- a couple other things came up through the day - annoying, positive, anxiety-inducing, etc.
In short, it was an Intense day, but both ups and downs.
--
My boss gave a presentation to rotary last night and I again saw my department as key for the district - yeah, department of ONE, as we know.
Also complimented me, specifically, in front of my rotary people several times.
I was thinking about the innate strategy of that. I think, he wouldn't say it if he didn't mean it, but also that me being frustrated and tearful (GAH) is not what The District needs. So we need Alice to be happy. And part of what was making me frustrated/tearful is Doing Too Much, people asking for projects then not supporting them, and that I don't know the edges of the job. And some of the presentation was about Strategic Resource Allocation; and our biggest and best resource is Our People, and that includes me.
After yesterday, some of this clicked around 1 am when the nightsweats woke me up.
I'm getting to my butterfly moment, but there's a bit more first :)
I was thinking too, why specifically call me out and put my name and job title on things? Because we need the community - including my coworkers - to know that THIS IS IMPORTANT. To give me the cred that might be necessary to do the work that needs doing.
So.
Butterfly moment.
A couple of the things he said during our meeting have a common thread, which is USE OUR RESOURCES. And what has finally clicked is that I have the power to ask for essentially whatever I need. I should not be in a vacuum, and I will make mistakes, sure, but I do need to be more of a spider spinning a web than an ant doing the fetch n carry.
SO MANY CRITTER METAPHORS TODAY
But yeah. Too much to do? "make other people do it." And by this point I'm enough of a Big Shot to do that. Respect and power are weird. Even if I want to play it cool and not accept the attention, what the DISTRICT needs is for me to use these tools as part of the job. AND the job didn't really have those tools last year.
So anyway. I'm going to try to move from a scurrying ant, to a web-spinning Orbweaver. (that's the new metamorophosis again, folks, i don't know what to tell you)
Oh, ps, the 'finding the edges of the job,' that's for me to decide really, but I am getting so close to comprehending them. I am able to say 'i'm not doing that again,' or 'i need to delegate that in future,' or here is the strategic planf for my job/department.