Summer updates

I don't use my laptop much at home because I used to have a glitchy neck and I really don't like to use a literal 'lap' top,   but I can do it for short bursts :)

Things to know:
- the river that divides NH & VT is SO HIGH right now; it's very angry and muddy and full of froth.  There's a big dam and it's SO FULL.
- our house is on a hillside so in general we're in good shape, i have fears about mold in the place where we need to repair the wall and where the finished basement floor feels uneven.  worried about certain trees falling. I'm just gonna make sure our insurance is up to date and honestly there's not a lot we can do about that.
- kids are minecrafting together!  it's been a while, because TOTK.  We have 1 switch and 1 switch lite - worth it - but i have the aforementioned glitchy neck so as much as I want my own NO.
- part of my hopes & dreams for summer was for the kids to play together sometimes. yay
- did get Ty to swim with us once last week!
- I swim with meg basically every day it's nice, but up until last week I was a chicken about the water (keeping head above water/chilly/hair) but now it's been cannonball weather.  
- I am getting more tan and more muscley even though we jiggle our bellies in the pool for fun.
- i was having a fashion/image/related anxiety because purple hair and glasses in this crazy retro shape - they're a THING.  Talked with my therapist about that, about caring how I look, etc. There's some more work to be done there :).  And trying to figure out how to dress in a fun, authentic way for summertime is also chaotic.  BUT.  I went SHOPPING on Sunday and got shorts and a dress that I feel okay in and a tank that makes me feel muscley, but i immediately got cooking oil on it, but I THINK i got it out.   I also zulily'd some tops that are a nice compromise between comfy, casual, and 'can wear to work.'  (Suzanne Betro Weekend yoke front tunic t's..) 


- I started this post yesterday and now it's today. I think i was gonna talk about more stuff.

- my Etsy order of a Lisa Frank t came yesterday, it's amazing and I'm not sorry about it, but the neck is a little too crew for my taste. I gotta cut it.
- i think i was gonna talk about blueberry mountain - it was hot, but breezy
- dan and I went up to the White Mountains and hiked Flume Gorge, that was awesome (cool breezes). then we were gonna do a ski lift but when we arrived it was PAUSED midway with people on it . No thank you :/
- CSA every other week
- balancing fun & chores (so much laundry, so much TOTK)
- with all the rain I made pretzels :) that's my snow-day thing.  This time I was haphazard with the flour, and undermeasured, so they were really sticky dough & came out blobby, but tasty. 
- Plants: 

• Fuck you, seeds
• -  No, jk but I was not super successful with my seeds.  I guess for what one would spend for a plant, I got like 2 plants from a pack of seeds, but I set a reminder to NOT DO SEEDS next year.  Here is what ended up working out from seeds:  wildflower patch from 2 years ago (CHAOTICALLY GREAT), dill, marigold, maybe ONE coleus from last year that lived all winter indoors, I have some petnuias I think, in a seed tray, and they're healthy little seedlings, but it's mid july. omg.  
• Coneflowers from last year in fun colors are coming out this year, and that's super fun.  I'm hoping that next year my astilbe (pink cotton candy) and sea holly and joker iris and hot pink peonies, and butterfly bush will come up better next year - I planted them this year so they're not doing much.
• the Crimson Clover seeds we put everywhere didn't quite work but I've seen a few blooms, and that's fun.
• the wildflower patch in the very FRONT is doing okay, lots of alyssum right now, not a lot of anything else milkweed & daylliy chaos means butterflies and hummingbirds (SUCH TINY ASSHOLES).  Surprise Johnny Jump Ups are fun as well. 
•  the kids' "children's easy garden" seed pack is blooming happily, so that gets some credit in the "seedz" area
• there's a really thick moss patch that's soooo cozy and squishy.
• I saw a squirrel eating a mushroom in the rain on Monday
• I think one of the problems with seeds is that I use up the package and direct sow randomly then I never know what's 'something'.
•  Occasional strawberries, grape tomatoes, and got kale & chard coming along
• Some lupines finished up a month ago, but some others just started blooming, and others are still going strong.  we really did have lupines & shasta daisies along the highways for a few weeks, just like Mrs. Rumphius.   
• If I were a better photographer I'd have some things ot show you, for sure.  I'll try anyway on Instagram.

Bonus Kid:
- she has like 8 other bonus moms, but she is so much like a cross between my kids.  She's not going to be in our district any more, but she doesn't know that yet, and it's someone else's job to tell her, and they haven't done that.  So like, now I'm just helping her out for fun, not because it's my job, so that's a little easier when it comes to boundaries.  mostly i'm listening when she needs someone to listen.  Also she's turning 19 this week.
- As time has gone on I'm kind of feeling where boundaries OUGHT to be and that's still a smoke monster.  I think it's 'do not be her substitute mom but it's okay to be her friend or big sister type.'   And also I don't fully trust her, i can be a listener & supportive person anyway.
- In terms of the things she really needs that would be my job to do, there's somebody else that can help with that, whose job it is regardless of school district, so I'm super encouraging that stuff.
- however, she wants to go to salem  - a 2 hour road trip - and mom and meg are both saying that they want to come too.  It's POSSIBLE all 4 of us could go do that, but I'm having second thoughts about it.  None of the 3 of them are good at compromise. Well, mom is, but only when she pays attention, and she is prone to random self-pity (and is having cataract surgery the day after).   I'm having a 'what did i get myself into' kind of moment with this.  Like, it feels less creepy to do a road trip with a young adult if I bring megan along, and they are PEAS IN A POD in many ways even though there's an 8 year age gap.


Ohio trip:
- my husband and my mom have a difference of opinion on "one 10 hour drive" vs "two 5 hour drives with a hotel in between" so I am saying, we're taking two cars.  Some of us will leave on the 25th and go 5 hours and stay in syracuse and then continue. Dan, you can do whatever and take your own car and maybe ONE kid.  
- we are renting a house 3 blocks from our old house
- it's my MIL's 70th birthday
- my BIL is worried that she's making a big Thing of it and a Big Party 
- I think there are Activities scheduled - that's fine by me but it stresses dan out

This is WAY MORE THAN ENOUGH journaling. 

love you bye