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today I am discomboobled
Jun. 8th, 2023 08:24 amI want to try not to lean into it, but i have a blend of feeling like my outfit isn't right, my glasses & hair are dorky, forgetful, anxious/paranoid.
A couple things that explain this:
I was working with my little buddy this morning at 6 am re: her school refusal and it delved into mental health experience conversation. I really think I did okay in case of phone ever being subpoena'd; I explained that I need to encourage her to go to school but if she chooses not to go the next best thing is to work on things at home and catch up on work, and expressed support , and asked what some of the challenges are about going (where is the overwhelm/anxiety coming from). And that if she misses today to get regulated I look forward to seeing her friday. I'm trying to balance being supportive (which is what I truly believe she needs most, and what will help her stay calm enough to do work), with encouraging her best without adding pressure. And I had to think about 'what's the goal of school, for this person? is it to educate her enough for a high school diploma|? is it to protect and care for a kid to provide a strong foundation?' and nonsense like that. I'll look up mission statements and stuff, but still feel like if the goal is either holistic or academic accomplishment, then a work-from-home-day, if productive, should be fine.
(I guess it's good I wrote this out. I have some misgivings about 'boundaries,' so I'm trying to use my brain as well as my heart, to use good judgement and compassion at the same time. I am worried there are rules I don't know about, and I have asked for a little bit of guidance, and basically rules-wise it's back to the obvious - don't write anything down you wouldn't want splashed on the news. Yesterday I was in a headspace where I could say "if I make a mistake on this, it's a mistake, and doesn't reflect on me as a human being" but today I'm more like eeek idk what I'm doing. I should be able to recenter soon though.)
And by then it was 6:45, I needed to get dressed & pack lunch for T! Good news - he actually wore fresh clothes and told me 'come on mom let's get going' - such progress! And I ran out the door with dorky socks on, loafers & capris. no bueno, but I removed the socks at least!
And had misplaced a credit card yesterday (found it this morning) and didn't have my swipe-card for the door this morning (used the public door, then found swipe card). So, losing things, but finding them.
I did some stuff with my hair a few mins ago to cultivate feeling a little better and less like a mess.
And realistically i'm doing good stuff otherwise.
A couple things that explain this:
I was working with my little buddy this morning at 6 am re: her school refusal and it delved into mental health experience conversation. I really think I did okay in case of phone ever being subpoena'd; I explained that I need to encourage her to go to school but if she chooses not to go the next best thing is to work on things at home and catch up on work, and expressed support , and asked what some of the challenges are about going (where is the overwhelm/anxiety coming from). And that if she misses today to get regulated I look forward to seeing her friday. I'm trying to balance being supportive (which is what I truly believe she needs most, and what will help her stay calm enough to do work), with encouraging her best without adding pressure. And I had to think about 'what's the goal of school, for this person? is it to educate her enough for a high school diploma|? is it to protect and care for a kid to provide a strong foundation?' and nonsense like that. I'll look up mission statements and stuff, but still feel like if the goal is either holistic or academic accomplishment, then a work-from-home-day, if productive, should be fine.
(I guess it's good I wrote this out. I have some misgivings about 'boundaries,' so I'm trying to use my brain as well as my heart, to use good judgement and compassion at the same time. I am worried there are rules I don't know about, and I have asked for a little bit of guidance, and basically rules-wise it's back to the obvious - don't write anything down you wouldn't want splashed on the news. Yesterday I was in a headspace where I could say "if I make a mistake on this, it's a mistake, and doesn't reflect on me as a human being" but today I'm more like eeek idk what I'm doing. I should be able to recenter soon though.)
And by then it was 6:45, I needed to get dressed & pack lunch for T! Good news - he actually wore fresh clothes and told me 'come on mom let's get going' - such progress! And I ran out the door with dorky socks on, loafers & capris. no bueno, but I removed the socks at least!
And had misplaced a credit card yesterday (found it this morning) and didn't have my swipe-card for the door this morning (used the public door, then found swipe card). So, losing things, but finding them.
I did some stuff with my hair a few mins ago to cultivate feeling a little better and less like a mess.
And realistically i'm doing good stuff otherwise.