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Apr. 10th, 2023 09:29 amI've started this one a couple ties, because I feel like I need to write & journal, but I don't know quite how to say things well. I guess good thing this is a journal rather than a blog, so it doesn't super matter if I say it with the right tone. I'm worried that because the big grief thing is happening among a lot of smaller stressors it will seem like I don't care or am minimizing it, but here we go.
Uncle Johnny had another stroke, and on Saturday my aunts were there with the doctor who explained there was no more neurological activity and something about the level of life support at that hospital wasn't going to be sufficient, but that part doesn't matter that much compared with the first part, and so around noon on Saturday, they/we let him go. I say 'we' because it doesn't seem fair to burden the aunts with that call, though lord knows they've had to make it before (aunt Joan, I remember, same situation).
I heard about it on sunny Sunday, and one nice thing was that I could picture dad & uncle J hanging out watching baseball on a gorgeous spring day. When plans are announced I will go back for services. Now of the 9 siblings, only 3 remain here on earth. I hope the rest of em aren't up in heaven trying to coax susan and erin and lindy to join the party.
we did a little bit of leafblowing yesterday, even though I had told dan i wanted to keep the leaves for the critters. Meg wanted to go outside and Do Something so leaves is something we could Do. Plus also, we fixed up the treehouse a little: swept it out, got rid of the stuff the neighbors left out in rain that got soggy and broken, added bug screens, added solar rope lighting, added 2 chairs & a table, and now it's a viable place to hangout. In a pinch, one could even nap out there (with the camping cot). It even has a view. You walk up the hillside and a couple steps to it - it's not really 'in a tree.'
We thought the kids had allergies going from all the outside-ing, plus easter egg hiding & finding, but meg sounded pretty sick last night & this morning. And she was getting hot & cold. So she's home today.
Most of my coworkers are also out sick.
My head hurt from ears or teeth or something all weekend, so I was kind of snotty from being sad/in pain/worried/feeling like a lousy mom. I told dan about that and ty overheard and piped up that I'm a good mom, which is nice. I don't want to get into why I felt like a bad mom now though :).
One other upside from the weekend is that I needed a new game and book, and so I started Minish Cap on Switch online, and it's delightful. So I played that most of the weekend.
So, at this point, I'm going to see what brainpower I have, and what work I can mentally do and what's essential to get done, and try to plug away.
Uncle Johnny had another stroke, and on Saturday my aunts were there with the doctor who explained there was no more neurological activity and something about the level of life support at that hospital wasn't going to be sufficient, but that part doesn't matter that much compared with the first part, and so around noon on Saturday, they/we let him go. I say 'we' because it doesn't seem fair to burden the aunts with that call, though lord knows they've had to make it before (aunt Joan, I remember, same situation).
I heard about it on sunny Sunday, and one nice thing was that I could picture dad & uncle J hanging out watching baseball on a gorgeous spring day. When plans are announced I will go back for services. Now of the 9 siblings, only 3 remain here on earth. I hope the rest of em aren't up in heaven trying to coax susan and erin and lindy to join the party.
we did a little bit of leafblowing yesterday, even though I had told dan i wanted to keep the leaves for the critters. Meg wanted to go outside and Do Something so leaves is something we could Do. Plus also, we fixed up the treehouse a little: swept it out, got rid of the stuff the neighbors left out in rain that got soggy and broken, added bug screens, added solar rope lighting, added 2 chairs & a table, and now it's a viable place to hangout. In a pinch, one could even nap out there (with the camping cot). It even has a view. You walk up the hillside and a couple steps to it - it's not really 'in a tree.'
We thought the kids had allergies going from all the outside-ing, plus easter egg hiding & finding, but meg sounded pretty sick last night & this morning. And she was getting hot & cold. So she's home today.
Most of my coworkers are also out sick.
My head hurt from ears or teeth or something all weekend, so I was kind of snotty from being sad/in pain/worried/feeling like a lousy mom. I told dan about that and ty overheard and piped up that I'm a good mom, which is nice. I don't want to get into why I felt like a bad mom now though :).
One other upside from the weekend is that I needed a new game and book, and so I started Minish Cap on Switch online, and it's delightful. So I played that most of the weekend.
So, at this point, I'm going to see what brainpower I have, and what work I can mentally do and what's essential to get done, and try to plug away.