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having a cry fit
Apr. 30th, 2019 10:46 ami don't even know. had a productive meeting. i guess this feeling is fear & vulnerability. Maybe some exhaustion, guilt, realizing i made mistakes,etc.
Apr. 30th, 2019
wow. So. dan an i have been rewatching star trek the next generation and I am not regretting this move. It's PG enough but engaging enough that it's basically good for all of us. (The office & the good place are about the same level).
We're in season 3 or 4 (Riker Beard!) and watched a really classic episode - The Defector - extremely well written, I thought.
Data and LaForge at one moment are having this conversation:
Geordi: All these feelings that get in the way of human judgment, that confuse the hell out of us, that make us second guess ourselves, well we need them. We need them to help us fill in the missing pieces because we almost never have all the facts.
DATA: So a person fills in missing pieces of the puzzle with his own personality, resulting in a conclusion based as much on instinct and intuition as on fact.
My intuition/instinct - i'm learning to listen - and i don't really like to trust them but i am learning to.
Intuition says: DO NOT HIRE THIS TOXIC PERSON. Compassion says: if you make things easier she won't be so toxic. Ego says: If I do, i'll feel like an idiot because all the advice i got was to NOT do so. Fear says: if you do, you will have to epically change some things, but that's not all bad. Fear also says: if you don't it could be uggggly. Self-doubt says, maybe she's not toxic, maybe it's just how she and you interact that have a toxic byproduct.
Anyway the 2 best pieces of advice I had were:
a. find out the salary she's expecting - make her tell me her thoughts first.
b. I'm creating a culture here with me & Newbie J. my mentor/friend/boss points out. It's not a bad thing to create a culture. sure it's a little scary but it's also my right to do that. Does she fit into my culture of compassion, warmth, communication? Not really. Does Newbie J? Absolutely.
We're in season 3 or 4 (Riker Beard!) and watched a really classic episode - The Defector - extremely well written, I thought.
Data and LaForge at one moment are having this conversation:
Geordi: All these feelings that get in the way of human judgment, that confuse the hell out of us, that make us second guess ourselves, well we need them. We need them to help us fill in the missing pieces because we almost never have all the facts.
DATA: So a person fills in missing pieces of the puzzle with his own personality, resulting in a conclusion based as much on instinct and intuition as on fact.
My intuition/instinct - i'm learning to listen - and i don't really like to trust them but i am learning to.
Intuition says: DO NOT HIRE THIS TOXIC PERSON. Compassion says: if you make things easier she won't be so toxic. Ego says: If I do, i'll feel like an idiot because all the advice i got was to NOT do so. Fear says: if you do, you will have to epically change some things, but that's not all bad. Fear also says: if you don't it could be uggggly. Self-doubt says, maybe she's not toxic, maybe it's just how she and you interact that have a toxic byproduct.
Anyway the 2 best pieces of advice I had were:
a. find out the salary she's expecting - make her tell me her thoughts first.
b. I'm creating a culture here with me & Newbie J. my mentor/friend/boss points out. It's not a bad thing to create a culture. sure it's a little scary but it's also my right to do that. Does she fit into my culture of compassion, warmth, communication? Not really. Does Newbie J? Absolutely.