then you start seeing it everywhere....

you know the more you dig the more you find? Like, with mental health stuff? a couple quick things on this:

a. My girlfriend is going through a thing with her ex and she recently discovered the concept of Gaslighting and for sure he does it. Also she noticed how much her parents always did. Also my other girlfriend's terrible husband does this. But .... ok... my mom did too for a while in my formative years when she drank a lot. So what are the consequences: you doubt yourself, you don't trust other people - or you ONLY trust other people and not your own instincts. As we were talking about the lousy ex & generational patterns I was like, huh. Just because things are better now, doesn't mean that trauma didn't have impacts.


b. Also, I was on a parenting board (The B Team - usually very good, it's based on Collaborative Parenting - in which you assume that kids aren't trying to be dickheads - they either have another goal with that behavior, or they might be lagging in a certain skill area. Such as: lagging coping strategies lead to lashing out. Etc. You assume that your kid is not actually out to get you, and you figure out what the heck they are trying to accomplish. If their goal and your goal don't match, you discuss your concerns.)

This was about video games and attitude. It was pretty cool & thoughtful. I mentioend my video game concerns are: making sure he gets exercise and non-screen time and reading & outdoors. Someone else suggested maybe original poster's kid who was attituding with video games - maybe that was about 'transitioning activities.'

So they linked this thing, which I think is awesome.

http://www.lunalindsey.com/2013/10/splines-theory-spoons-metaphor-for.html

As I prepre myself for the day by writing here on dw... apparently i'm reticulating my splines.