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every now and then I fall apart!
Aug. 23rd, 2017 02:01 pmBeen humming Total Eclipse of the Heart for a couple days alternating with Blind Melon's No Rain (the original, not the weird dark late 90s version which is cool but lacks the bouncy charm of the song. BTW - Misheard lyrics: "I'd like to keep my -sheets?- jeans?- dry today" which is kinda gross - the actual lyric is "keep my cheeks dry today" which means not to cry and that's just adorable.)
Every now and then I think about leadership stuff, because I have somehow made it to a weird CEO position of a small nonprofit that is doing a good job, and I think I'm supposed to step up in some ways. And I do, in many ways, tbh. I'm also taking a year long leadership class which will also tell us the sorts of things we need to know like "how does our goverment work and what does the power plant look like inside" and etc. I don't know, I haven't taken it yet.
Part of it is about behavioral styles, which is like personality but different, and it's weeeird. I always had a hard time with personality tests, i feel like I never know the answers. Apparently that's an "adult child of an alcoholic" thing, to not have that steady foundation of knowing oneself, or something, or maybe I overthink it - considering I've been navelgazing on blogs since 1999 you'd think I'd know. I'm getting closer but it turns out that I'm a lot more [lots of things] than I think i am. I've been critized for being too nice, too impulsive, too shy, not confident enough. So, like you do, I've probably made adjustments based on those comments. Lack of Confidence is funny; that's such a self-fulfilling prophecy. And one thing I liked about the class we did recently is that behavioral styles are like hats you wear - they can change. They're not who you are, but it's harder to wear certain hats than others. And I think although I feel like I don't know myself that well, it's probably that I do adapt pretty well.
Anyway my "primary type" was Persuase/Influence (as opposed to Control/Direct, Stabilize/Relationship, Analyze/i-forget.)
I took a class on this a week ago, and of course I'm conscious of these things now, and I think maybe I'm more cautious/analytical than I give myself credit for, or maybe it's just that work requires it. Anyway. Hard to pin people down, which was the teacher's point in the end. That knowing all this is still 'with a grain of salt' but it helps when dealing with people you simply don't get.
All this, and I AM getting better at seeing myself how others might see me; more objectively, I hope. Growing less insecure, etc.
Every now and then I think about leadership stuff, because I have somehow made it to a weird CEO position of a small nonprofit that is doing a good job, and I think I'm supposed to step up in some ways. And I do, in many ways, tbh. I'm also taking a year long leadership class which will also tell us the sorts of things we need to know like "how does our goverment work and what does the power plant look like inside" and etc. I don't know, I haven't taken it yet.
Part of it is about behavioral styles, which is like personality but different, and it's weeeird. I always had a hard time with personality tests, i feel like I never know the answers. Apparently that's an "adult child of an alcoholic" thing, to not have that steady foundation of knowing oneself, or something, or maybe I overthink it - considering I've been navelgazing on blogs since 1999 you'd think I'd know. I'm getting closer but it turns out that I'm a lot more [lots of things] than I think i am. I've been critized for being too nice, too impulsive, too shy, not confident enough. So, like you do, I've probably made adjustments based on those comments. Lack of Confidence is funny; that's such a self-fulfilling prophecy. And one thing I liked about the class we did recently is that behavioral styles are like hats you wear - they can change. They're not who you are, but it's harder to wear certain hats than others. And I think although I feel like I don't know myself that well, it's probably that I do adapt pretty well.
Anyway my "primary type" was Persuase/Influence (as opposed to Control/Direct, Stabilize/Relationship, Analyze/i-forget.)
I took a class on this a week ago, and of course I'm conscious of these things now, and I think maybe I'm more cautious/analytical than I give myself credit for, or maybe it's just that work requires it. Anyway. Hard to pin people down, which was the teacher's point in the end. That knowing all this is still 'with a grain of salt' but it helps when dealing with people you simply don't get.
All this, and I AM getting better at seeing myself how others might see me; more objectively, I hope. Growing less insecure, etc.