just some reflection:

[alicevangeline]

Graduation:

• I like that kids were given a choice of maroon or white for their gowns. I think traditionally girls wore white and boys wore maroon, but in 2025, we don't like to be that binary; so kids just picked a color. (Says t anyway).
• They didn't have to parade in alphabetical order. They just walked with one or two buddies and carried an index card with their name on it, so when their time was called, they could hand the card to the coordinator, who proudly announced them. (There is a picture of him holding his card very tightly, and I get it, because it was his one job...)
• Some of the caps were extravagantly decorated! But on the morning of, Ty grabbed 2 handmade buttons and we popped those on. Good enough and very on-brand for him.
• It was indoors due to rain. And it was crowded, but not THAT hot - mostly not enough room for our femurs!
• It wasn't that long either - started at 10, ended at 11.
• I also liked this about the speeches: I guess seniors applied (and were selected) to be commencement speakers. We had 2 and they were good. One was an Artist and the other is one of my little buddies from the rotary club - one of those kids who is athletic, gorgeous, brilliant, and also very kind.
• Her dad was the guest speaker, she made a cute joke about that too. And you know what? He's a soccer coach and runs a pizza shop. I think you might understand why that's cool - often times, guest speakers are Big Shots. This fella is a successful guy, sure, but he is more importantly super nice and also generous (he said he must have given free pizza to the right people). I absolutely love this.
• His speech was great. Someone said it was the best they'd heard. He did remind us that pizza always helps (and someone else reminded us comfortable shoes are always worth it), but one of his main points is that everyone begins as a stranger to you - even your kids began as tiny strangers! And that made me cry a bit!
• He also said: “Your identity is not what you do [for a living] but who you are. Degrees, titles and fortune are worthy aspirations but will never replace the timeless virtues of kindness, humility, generosity, integrity and love for our family and friends.” (I got this from the newspaper write up :) )

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Girlkid:

• I did a catchup sesh with her therapist yesterday.  Points:  
  • Although she does have disordered eating (a couple things behind that), Kiddo only has about 30 minutes worth of Willingness To Be In Therapy at a time, and they are making progress with her DBT/ distress tolerance.   She is learning and using strategies.. I will talk more about this chat later maybe but
  • With that 30 min parameter, and that Kid doesn't even want to talk about food, we won't be able to do anything with eating/body in session, so external help is a maybe -- but again, she doesn't even want to talk about it.
  • I explained my rabbit hole to Summer Residential Therapy and there are a couple great points:
    • Even though reddit and reviews hate those places, a lot of that is coming from that it's not the kid's choice to be there.  Take the reviews with many grains of salt. They can do good work.
    • That said, she's not struggling ENOUGH for a program like that. It's constant, but she's not actively trying to unalive herself, and we don't want her to pick that up from the others there.
    • So it's not a terrible idea, Alice, but it's also not the right move right now.
  • However, the step in-between weekly therapy and residential would be IOP - intensive outpatient - and there are virtual programs. Therapist gave me a referral to two and I called one.  
    • It works like this: 3 days x week of group (with 3 different sessions in each) plus 1 session of individual and one of family therapy.  Eating disorders & anxiety & neurodivergence and the LGBT experience are all in their repertoire.
  • Here's where I'm at now:
    • Continue with the assessments/application for the program
    • Because of How She Is (spicy, obstinate), she might hate it? she might not want to do this? so that's a discussion
    • However, sitting around the house bored WILL NOT WORK for any of us.
    • I need to take a chunk of time to help structure her summer. 
    • That'\s part of why the IOP now - to take available time (summer) to work on mental health.
  • She is also interested in skipping 8th grade and is leading that process, so I'm meeting with her principal about that next week.  I mean, she's 12 so she doesn't entirely get to decide - her opinion is but one of many factors - but she has valid points and we will proceed.
    • She may need to take summer school classes online if she goes this route.
    • So my 'create a summer structure' will have to factor that in but also it kind of depends on how that convo goes. And if the principal says no, do we talk to the high school principal?
  • Otherwise, summer is 3 days of horse camp for her, 1 week of trad summer camp for kids with autism who are shy to try new things.
  • Everything else is 'shrug emoji.'
  • I also might sign her up for Hero's Journey Minecraft club..