rolla coasta

had a phone call from a buddy of mine who advised maybe I should do some PR work about the value of my job.

That, friends, was a bit of a corkscrew on the roller coaster, because it led to me thinking
1) Oh, I didn't realize I might lose my job this budget cycle, the Super's said I'm 'non-negotiable,' but what if i get cut out?
2) If I lose my job what do I even want to do next?
3) I mean, honestly, maybe it's a good opportunity to think about next moves anyway, since they're asking me to do impossible things for limited cashmoney
4) oh my god all the jobs on linkedin and indeed are so fucking boring right now
5) what do I even know how to do/that I want to do?

So between that, and the stress that is related to a piece of the job (a family in dv shelter and they're in a black hole of bad luck and I keep getting random agencies yelling at me about it), and the stress that is parenting a kid with unmanaged anxiety/depression who is also down with the flu, and some trauma crap from taking my mom to the ER this week, and 'The World' being a wreck, I was pretty effing down on Sunday and yesterday.

My soul felt 'soggy,' you know what I mean?

but here are some nice things I tried to do about it:
- i went home sick on Friday only an hour early because I was fighting a fever and my throat started raging. That's self care.
- husband and I went to a crystal shop and a soup place.
- my back did a pain thing and i took a muscle relaxer. It made me spaceyyyyy so i took a nap about it.
- Sunday, after the unsettling phone call about my job, mom and I went Out, shopping and stuff in a cute lil town and getting coffee and cheese and stuff. It snow squalled delightfully. There was a band, so the snow was a reason to just stay and chill for a bit. I also took my anti-panic medicine. Good job, me.
- Monday/yesterday, I was soooo on edge all frickin day. I wondered if it was because the anti-panic (propanolol) had worn off and it was like, holding back a flood of feelings or something. IDK.
- But today is sorta better. It's a half-day for Ty due to snow later, meg is out sick again (she's a mess/so many tissues), I talked to HR who said 'you don't need to worry, the super won't let you go, but doing a show is a good idea anyway.'
- and the other annoying work situation that I can't solve is put off for another day.
- I'm going home around lunchtime or earlier because snow.

so. There we go. Things are improving.
There is no sound in this zoom!
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(no subject)

oh also, I'm currently behind in everything except homeless student case management:
- communications (behind)
- event planning (asked for cruicial info from some ppl, didnt' get it, am behind; need to begin to market next ones)
- partnership meeting schedule (behind)
- next big event (ugh it's lower in the priority list, it'll be an April thing)
- food access i'm trying to delegate so I'm doing less with that
- almost delegated some partnership work but the person got moved around

i'm trying to use the Work From Home Due To Weather day to do strategy stuff, but I keep feeling like I'm going sideways and not getting it done well. Sigh. I made SOME progress though.

and then i was like, why am i doing a strategy document, i feel like I'm starting from scratch (not true, just struggling with visual formats) and i'm behind on everything

and the answer to that is, -cuz it'll help you in the long-term with priorities, partnerships, and more - and because you're going to use a strategy document to help with your dog & pony show that you gotta do in 2 weeks. which is a new thing i need to do.

BUT. If I do some of the 'here is data, here is strategy, here is research' stuff that I know i'll need for later on, i can use it for the voting thingy and hopefully be effective at the thing.

It's all about Organizing Information and doing some of it visually. and that's hard to do, but necessary. wheeee