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crazy aaron's thinking putty
Jan. 31st, 2023 07:50 amI'm learning about my movement/fidgeting needs and trying to honor them. I bought 2 putties at a gift shop and one is for me and one is for ty although he never uses them.
I'm about to shift into a new mindset, I can tell. Like, there's something just out of reach. It has to do with how I'm drowning as a parent, and realizing that other people's rules can't work for me.
Like, told a coworker it was kid's 15th birthday and she was asking about getting his temp driving permit, and I had to smile and nod. I'm listening to Dr. Becky Campbell on the Glennon podcast, and that's great - it's about breaking cycles of parenting, and I'm just so weary.
So, the good news, is ty's doing a bit better emotionally since last week. The bad news is that he's got a myriad of physical complaints (shaky, random aches and pains, muscle twitches, earache). And we have no idea how serious to take any of this stuff. He saw the nurse who didn't see anything particularly alarming, but i guess she didn't check his ears. But also he had a bath last night so maybe earache is related to that. So i'm in a 8 hour meeting (3 candidate invertiews with discussion in between) and am receiving voicemails from the nurse, that he's probably ok but is saying it's medication withdrawal, has he googled that, and i say he's had it before but it's not today's deal because we're not out of rx and that i'm picking up the refill after school; and messages from ty that he's feeling emotionally better but physially off. Then the thingy concludes and mom texts me that ty's not home yet, so I have to check my messages for whether he's got detention again, I make a joke about how if you have detention on your birthday your mom will still bring you icecream when she picks you up because /shrug / time has been served.... further mutter about how it's halfway a manifestation of disability anyway.... get ready to go get him (and leave work 45 min early) and get mad that i have no messages about detention, just a hint from last week that he MIGHT have to stay after on monday... and get a message from mom that he arrived with his little sister?
So i'm like, did he just get confused and take the wrong bus? I call mom, and she reveals that they apparently changed the bus he rides? And ty said something vague about the bus not taking the normal turn. It's all fine that he came home with megan, it's delightful even, and they sat next to each other, and they had been reminiscing about walking home together, but wtf is going on.
I'm on my way to Rite Aid to get his refill and some ice cream, and just thinking 'it is perfectly possible that he hopped onto the wrong bus' and then i get another message 'mom i need a haircut.' I had to take some deep breaths because we have freaking offered, and he declined, and I've also been attempting to do Birthday Things for the kid all weekend, and throughout the workday his needs are just continuing to pile up, and here's another. I did refuse to deal with a haircut yesterday, on this the day of his birth 15 yrs ago.
For the record, he's in cooking and chemistry classes, so he needs to either tie it back, wear a hairnet, or cut it, and he won't tie it back, and he won't explain why not (I asked if it was about appearance or the feel and he said he couldn't answer questions like that).
Today after school we might see his doctor or might get a haircut.
Anyway, this sort of day, which happens when - you know - I'm at work, is why I am thinking i am going to have to follow my own set of parenting rules. And i will screw up in glorious new ways but i'll do my best.
I'm about to shift into a new mindset, I can tell. Like, there's something just out of reach. It has to do with how I'm drowning as a parent, and realizing that other people's rules can't work for me.
Like, told a coworker it was kid's 15th birthday and she was asking about getting his temp driving permit, and I had to smile and nod. I'm listening to Dr. Becky Campbell on the Glennon podcast, and that's great - it's about breaking cycles of parenting, and I'm just so weary.
So, the good news, is ty's doing a bit better emotionally since last week. The bad news is that he's got a myriad of physical complaints (shaky, random aches and pains, muscle twitches, earache). And we have no idea how serious to take any of this stuff. He saw the nurse who didn't see anything particularly alarming, but i guess she didn't check his ears. But also he had a bath last night so maybe earache is related to that. So i'm in a 8 hour meeting (3 candidate invertiews with discussion in between) and am receiving voicemails from the nurse, that he's probably ok but is saying it's medication withdrawal, has he googled that, and i say he's had it before but it's not today's deal because we're not out of rx and that i'm picking up the refill after school; and messages from ty that he's feeling emotionally better but physially off. Then the thingy concludes and mom texts me that ty's not home yet, so I have to check my messages for whether he's got detention again, I make a joke about how if you have detention on your birthday your mom will still bring you icecream when she picks you up because /shrug / time has been served.... further mutter about how it's halfway a manifestation of disability anyway.... get ready to go get him (and leave work 45 min early) and get mad that i have no messages about detention, just a hint from last week that he MIGHT have to stay after on monday... and get a message from mom that he arrived with his little sister?
So i'm like, did he just get confused and take the wrong bus? I call mom, and she reveals that they apparently changed the bus he rides? And ty said something vague about the bus not taking the normal turn. It's all fine that he came home with megan, it's delightful even, and they sat next to each other, and they had been reminiscing about walking home together, but wtf is going on.
I'm on my way to Rite Aid to get his refill and some ice cream, and just thinking 'it is perfectly possible that he hopped onto the wrong bus' and then i get another message 'mom i need a haircut.' I had to take some deep breaths because we have freaking offered, and he declined, and I've also been attempting to do Birthday Things for the kid all weekend, and throughout the workday his needs are just continuing to pile up, and here's another. I did refuse to deal with a haircut yesterday, on this the day of his birth 15 yrs ago.
For the record, he's in cooking and chemistry classes, so he needs to either tie it back, wear a hairnet, or cut it, and he won't tie it back, and he won't explain why not (I asked if it was about appearance or the feel and he said he couldn't answer questions like that).
Today after school we might see his doctor or might get a haircut.
Anyway, this sort of day, which happens when - you know - I'm at work, is why I am thinking i am going to have to follow my own set of parenting rules. And i will screw up in glorious new ways but i'll do my best.