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So, ty flat out refused to go to school today. He did that sometimes in elementary school and I freaking picked him up and brought him, but I'm not doing that today. I can still pick him up, but he's lanky enough that I fear his elbows and knees, one should NOT do that with a teenager, I don't think.
I'm alternating between trying to give myself perspective like "other people and kids have bigger challenges" Ii'm pretty sure comparisons like this aren't helpful but I want to remember I'm not the only one who's, like, ever suffered), versus accepting that this is all kinds of hard. Between "I give up, I don't know how to deal with this" and "smiles hearts you can do it, you have reserves of strength, you love your kids, your husband loves you and the kids, and alice you know some stuff, your instincts are fine."
And then shouting into the void "I need some help over here!"
It's not really The Void; it's emails to the school team (Case manager & counselor especially) that 'here is my plan, any help is or recommendations is welcome'. I'm also doing the long-term chore of trying to get help from The System.
I have applied for medicaid a couple times because t has a developmental disability (so does m, but she has "adaptive skills"). I guess in NH you only qualify for medicaid-due-to-disability once you're an adult. And as for me applying, we don't qualify, based on our income. I say "I Guess" because I am going to meet with an agency next week, and check my understanding of this for the 17th time.
And the reason I apply for medicaid is because the school ,and the Area Agency, have asked me to. And his therapist when he had one. Area Agency (which is the board of DD) says 'you can't get certain services without it.'
I don't even care, I just want SOME help at home managing the boy.
And regarding applying for Area Agency, that's been pending for a while, because they need a complete psychoeducational eval (which they first called cognitive). I sent one from the school but his last eval was 3 years ago, which means they're reevaluating him now. Which also means he misses class sometimes to be Evaluated.
Anyway his evaluation meeting, called an ETS here, has been delayed (I had to sign a thing giving permission to do so), so Area Agency will have to wait. Which means I don't get outside help till march at least.
And the reason the ETS is delayed is that there is an Adaptive Behavior & Life Skills eval that was ordered that literally just arrived in the mail for the team to test him with. Honestly that is the area we're all most concerned about anyway, so i absolutely want that evaluation, which means accepting the delay.
So. All this is shit I do as a parent, and sometimes I do it during work hours, and I keep my fingers crossed that it's sort of covered under ADA or FMLA or something, and I feel pretty confident that it is okay because of where, specifically, I work.
I fudge it a little bit too because Navigating The Systems is something i want to know how to do, to help other people, and that IS my job.
I also checked out the disability rights center, because Area Agency suggested both kids won't qualify because they do not have an 'intellectual disability,' and I can accept that for megan, but ty needs support as he gets closer to adulthood.
I'm alternating between trying to give myself perspective like "other people and kids have bigger challenges" Ii'm pretty sure comparisons like this aren't helpful but I want to remember I'm not the only one who's, like, ever suffered), versus accepting that this is all kinds of hard. Between "I give up, I don't know how to deal with this" and "smiles hearts you can do it, you have reserves of strength, you love your kids, your husband loves you and the kids, and alice you know some stuff, your instincts are fine."
And then shouting into the void "I need some help over here!"
It's not really The Void; it's emails to the school team (Case manager & counselor especially) that 'here is my plan, any help is or recommendations is welcome'. I'm also doing the long-term chore of trying to get help from The System.
I have applied for medicaid a couple times because t has a developmental disability (so does m, but she has "adaptive skills"). I guess in NH you only qualify for medicaid-due-to-disability once you're an adult. And as for me applying, we don't qualify, based on our income. I say "I Guess" because I am going to meet with an agency next week, and check my understanding of this for the 17th time.
And the reason I apply for medicaid is because the school ,and the Area Agency, have asked me to. And his therapist when he had one. Area Agency (which is the board of DD) says 'you can't get certain services without it.'
I don't even care, I just want SOME help at home managing the boy.
And regarding applying for Area Agency, that's been pending for a while, because they need a complete psychoeducational eval (which they first called cognitive). I sent one from the school but his last eval was 3 years ago, which means they're reevaluating him now. Which also means he misses class sometimes to be Evaluated.
Anyway his evaluation meeting, called an ETS here, has been delayed (I had to sign a thing giving permission to do so), so Area Agency will have to wait. Which means I don't get outside help till march at least.
And the reason the ETS is delayed is that there is an Adaptive Behavior & Life Skills eval that was ordered that literally just arrived in the mail for the team to test him with. Honestly that is the area we're all most concerned about anyway, so i absolutely want that evaluation, which means accepting the delay.
So. All this is shit I do as a parent, and sometimes I do it during work hours, and I keep my fingers crossed that it's sort of covered under ADA or FMLA or something, and I feel pretty confident that it is okay because of where, specifically, I work.
I fudge it a little bit too because Navigating The Systems is something i want to know how to do, to help other people, and that IS my job.
I also checked out the disability rights center, because Area Agency suggested both kids won't qualify because they do not have an 'intellectual disability,' and I can accept that for megan, but ty needs support as he gets closer to adulthood.