remember how last year i was freaked out about surviving 2019

yeah, so most of those grants have been approved which means we need to grow, and i'm working on that, but like looking back i don't blame myself AT ALL for being a lil scared.

so, there's that, and that i'm starting to build a team, and my girlfriend posted something the other day about a job in vermont which is where dan wants ot move.

it's a stem museum director position that pays a third more than i make now.

i think i'm probably going to not go for it? I don't know.

I can't hear my gut or intuition because right now it's shouting YOU hAVE BIG STUFF HAPPENING RIGHT NOW OHMAGERD

things i NEVER thought i'd say (in my head)

Inspired By Megan conversations edition:
a) "Ensharkelled"
b) Butts in the Sky

Work edition:
a) "bitch, this is the second business i've run and grown. you have NO IDEA."
(Never in my life thought i would 'run' a 'business' let alone two. This is actually my second go-round as an executive director, and i didn't feel like i knew what i was doing the first year at either one, but the first time, i had to carry the biz through a merger and move without losing our identity, and i brought on a kickass partner, and established the new brand, and when everything was settled and I didn't quite fit in but i was trying THAT's when I left. However the merger which was planned before i started also resulted in us doubling our membership.
Meanwhile this one? It's nonprofit, but i've increased the membership by 50%, with these grants I did about the same with the revenue, established processes & systems so we CAN grow, hired two and a half rock stars, and built the brand. All while not letting anything overdraft or burn down.

i also never thought till maybe occasionally this year or last that like I actually DO have an idea what it takes. business was such a boring and vague word and 'tps reports'y. So I wasn't interested in it. I wasn't interested in Management either. Leadership, only kinda because i was one of the good students who participated in stuff. I always liked DOING WELL rather than competition. So, being a leader, or a manager, wasn't something I thought I'd do exactly except that if I did well at my stuff maybe I'd move up. And in terms of liking control? I like things to be planned an organized, I like to help, and I get enthusiastic, but control is not something I particularly care about.


I sound like an asshole but i think it helps to know this.