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the daily cry?
Jan. 9th, 2019 08:57 amHey so I am not actually crying daily but today i am just feeling a bit overwhelmed and ready to cry a bit and move on. Was thinking "cry for 5 minutes then shake it off" sounds like not a terrible daily habit.
I have DEFINITELY been doing comfort foods to help with the feelz.
I'm going to try NOT to lean into the overhwhelm, while clarifying what it's about:
. Kids were late to school today. Which makes me feel bad because that means I was late bringing them. It's a team effort, and as coach of this team, my players didn't quite make it. (Ty was distracted and manic about the snow, meg was tired and sad because tooth fairy didn't stop by last night. Or, she actually did, but meg was stirring, so she had to come back later and didn't get a chance (it was Dan not me :) ) (dang government shutdown). So anyway meg was sad about that, sad we had snow but no snow day, and she called for me but i couldnt' hear her so i didn't answer. And that made her grumpy while ty was all chirpy and then Ty was like megan why do you hate me and i'm like - her feelings are like the weather but her love for you is like the climate, dude.
Real talk - parenting win - Ty asked for a quarter to give meg. after a bit of unsteady footing, he explained that The Tooth Fairy wrote me a note, to give Megan this quarter, so Mom asked Ty to give it to Meg. Meg, suspiciously: "what did the note say" It said: "Dear Mrs Cable, I apologize I wasn't able to come by for Megan's tooth. I did stop by once but she wasn't quite asleep then. I will return later. In the meanwhile, here is a quarter to give her so she knows I didn't forget."
Meg decided our story checked out.
So, at least there's that, even if they were tardy.
--
work:
my REAL anxieties are: sometimes i drop the ball on little stuff. And sometimes I go off on a tangent learning about something new - something that might be innovative for us, or a good connection, or a helpful tool. My real fear is that i spend too much time on tangents & stuff and not enough time on day-to-day.
Which, a) is why i hired help, and b) i think maybe it IS my job to do big picture ideas, and c) is something i can't seem to stop doing.... but it still means i have unfinished business which i also don't feel good about. And i'm anxious that i go down wrong paths. That makes me feel icky.
Newbie cares about processes and will hopefully help me develop some.
But. Sometimes I get scared that this is all too mcuh for one or two people, and maybe i took on too much, and i'll get fired.
Then real-talk: my brain replies with: hah, if they do, i'll figure something out.
And then another anxiety: My brain also replies with 'we all know that my job is like an insane combination of skills & knowledge and I'm lucky to have a variety of them, and this would be REALLY tough to fill, so i'm pretty secure.' SO - then - other half of brain gets anxious that OMG YOU HAVE HUBRIS ICARUS.
I have DEFINITELY been doing comfort foods to help with the feelz.
I'm going to try NOT to lean into the overhwhelm, while clarifying what it's about:
. Kids were late to school today. Which makes me feel bad because that means I was late bringing them. It's a team effort, and as coach of this team, my players didn't quite make it. (Ty was distracted and manic about the snow, meg was tired and sad because tooth fairy didn't stop by last night. Or, she actually did, but meg was stirring, so she had to come back later and didn't get a chance (it was Dan not me :) ) (dang government shutdown). So anyway meg was sad about that, sad we had snow but no snow day, and she called for me but i couldnt' hear her so i didn't answer. And that made her grumpy while ty was all chirpy and then Ty was like megan why do you hate me and i'm like - her feelings are like the weather but her love for you is like the climate, dude.
Real talk - parenting win - Ty asked for a quarter to give meg. after a bit of unsteady footing, he explained that The Tooth Fairy wrote me a note, to give Megan this quarter, so Mom asked Ty to give it to Meg. Meg, suspiciously: "what did the note say" It said: "Dear Mrs Cable, I apologize I wasn't able to come by for Megan's tooth. I did stop by once but she wasn't quite asleep then. I will return later. In the meanwhile, here is a quarter to give her so she knows I didn't forget."
Meg decided our story checked out.
So, at least there's that, even if they were tardy.
--
work:
my REAL anxieties are: sometimes i drop the ball on little stuff. And sometimes I go off on a tangent learning about something new - something that might be innovative for us, or a good connection, or a helpful tool. My real fear is that i spend too much time on tangents & stuff and not enough time on day-to-day.
Which, a) is why i hired help, and b) i think maybe it IS my job to do big picture ideas, and c) is something i can't seem to stop doing.... but it still means i have unfinished business which i also don't feel good about. And i'm anxious that i go down wrong paths. That makes me feel icky.
Newbie cares about processes and will hopefully help me develop some.
But. Sometimes I get scared that this is all too mcuh for one or two people, and maybe i took on too much, and i'll get fired.
Then real-talk: my brain replies with: hah, if they do, i'll figure something out.
And then another anxiety: My brain also replies with 'we all know that my job is like an insane combination of skills & knowledge and I'm lucky to have a variety of them, and this would be REALLY tough to fill, so i'm pretty secure.' SO - then - other half of brain gets anxious that OMG YOU HAVE HUBRIS ICARUS.