![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I'm sitting here with a journal post open thinking I don't know how to begin as if some dire thing happened, but really not. It's more of a realization. I've mentioned Ty's depression/anxiety before and we discussed some things with him over the weekend but this morning, I couldn't "urge" him to move, or "rush" him, or whatever, without him feeling bad and crying. I tried to explain that I didn't want him to feel bad, I just wanted action. He was shaking and weeping. I wasn't mean, btw.
So, I sat in the car for a few minutes after, trying to breathe and not cry on my own. Realizing I don't know how to help him, and this is beyond me. And that's why i'm trying for help from the county, anyway. That's all complicated and that's why it took me 6 months to get the energy to move to the next step.
Ty told us that without computers and games he feels powerless and like his happiness was drained away. I talked to him yesterday about that trying to say "i want you to know that you don't NEED those things".
UGH.
Anyway, I've been pondering his blood work with the weird results, and working on making an appointment for that (hematologist? Immunologist?) and sort of settling for "wait for a referral" which might not be good, might be too slow. Today with his weepy shakiness I was tempted to take him to urgent care and demand some kind of blood work -sugar, iron, b12, etc. But I didn't.
My suspicions are that whatever is going on with him (in addition to aspergers and/or ADHD) is whatever mood disorder I have, and my dad as well. My brother is bipolar, which would also be a possibility for ty, because boy does he swing manic and anxious. And none of this diagnosis bullshit would matter EXCEPT there might be some tiny little pill or medication like zoloft that would actually fill some lacking thing and just make him FEEL BETTER already.
BTW it took 20 minutes to "put your shoes on and get in the car." He's almost 10.
Anyway, now I'm resolved to get him to some kind of mental health appointment, but uh, that's as far as i've gotten. Plus I would love to have his bloodwork looked at. Sigh. Where to begin. Sometimes I get so stuck figuring out what to do I don't move forward.
So, I sat in the car for a few minutes after, trying to breathe and not cry on my own. Realizing I don't know how to help him, and this is beyond me. And that's why i'm trying for help from the county, anyway. That's all complicated and that's why it took me 6 months to get the energy to move to the next step.
Ty told us that without computers and games he feels powerless and like his happiness was drained away. I talked to him yesterday about that trying to say "i want you to know that you don't NEED those things".
UGH.
Anyway, I've been pondering his blood work with the weird results, and working on making an appointment for that (hematologist? Immunologist?) and sort of settling for "wait for a referral" which might not be good, might be too slow. Today with his weepy shakiness I was tempted to take him to urgent care and demand some kind of blood work -sugar, iron, b12, etc. But I didn't.
My suspicions are that whatever is going on with him (in addition to aspergers and/or ADHD) is whatever mood disorder I have, and my dad as well. My brother is bipolar, which would also be a possibility for ty, because boy does he swing manic and anxious. And none of this diagnosis bullshit would matter EXCEPT there might be some tiny little pill or medication like zoloft that would actually fill some lacking thing and just make him FEEL BETTER already.
BTW it took 20 minutes to "put your shoes on and get in the car." He's almost 10.
Anyway, now I'm resolved to get him to some kind of mental health appointment, but uh, that's as far as i've gotten. Plus I would love to have his bloodwork looked at. Sigh. Where to begin. Sometimes I get so stuck figuring out what to do I don't move forward.